kris in crisis

okay i remembered that i have a deal with my mom which is , honestly its not a deal cause im not agree or maybe we can call it "punishment" ,cih -> if my report more worse than before i'll stop debate , no vacation and to many etc.hate it

btw , i still remember that my mom is not consistant on punishment but i hate my self if im study hard and i got nothing from it.like i waste times

maybe im the one who make it dramtic or whatever cause i have a promise to my self that i'll study and make my scores better and I DO but the fact is -_-.

welllllll when i study i know the concept and it's not guarantee that i can solve the questions and since i want to be a social yah it's okay if im bad in science subjects BUT i want to become a social cause i refuse to join a science NOT because i'm stupid in science

idk what i must do. i know my self, i cant focus in two things but now , both between debate and school is very important to me

when i was in jhs i cant wait to be shs putihabuabuers but now maybe if someone ask me hows your life in shs ill answer "remedial" . im not find the real happy like im enjoy the school well i have a cool days when im in debate comp. and now......

.too many people said . you can do it kris! etc etc etc . but its make me sad cause i know its hard. maybe now i just try to change my mindset that i can do it! its easy hem too easy. too many that i wished for, so i have to make it happen . GO!